An impromptu visit to the urologist today. Bleeding from bladder continues despite the urostomy. The bleeding is "normal" at least for a month. The urostomy surgery was June 1, and today was the last of the tubes out. The stents from the kidneys were removed, so Roger has no more tubes, just the urostomy. Anxiety rules the day. Roger talked with the urologist about upcoming treatments at the oncologist. Radiation could cause further damage to his lower intestines, and body parts, chemotherapy will not likely do much at this point. --Roger is at the point of receiving pallative care, that is just making him as comfortable as possible. Not to be confused with hospice which is defined as end of life care with less than 6 months to live. As there really is no way of knowing how long Roger might have, as long as problems that arise can be fixed, the doctors will continue to fix him. The urostomy means the end of ER trips for now. So that in itself is a good thing. And I wish I had more good to share. Roger is 146 pounds, lost another 10 pounds with the last hospitalization for the urostomy surgery. He is frail, anxious and tries to not think too much about cancer. He is slowly getting his appetite back, but pain meds are causing constipation, taking meds for constipation causes diarrhea. It is a vicious cycle.
Please consider reading "When Someone You Love Has Advanced Cancer: Support for Caregivers" http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/coping/When-Someone-You-Love-Has-Advanced-Cancer/
This is a National Cancer Institute publication that will explain what Roger and I are going through much more than I can explain.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
From the "His Prostate Cancer" website- Bill of rights for wives and partners
- Cry as often as you need to but look for humor everyday.
- Worry all you want but know that it won’t change a thing.
- You can be a tower of strength and still fall apart.
- You don’t always have to know the right thing to say.
- Accept that you will never be the perfect wife/partner.
- Forgive yourself for making mistakes.
- On days when you have nothing to give, know that it will be enough.
- Take care of yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.
- Give yourself permission to forget about prostate cancer for a day.
- Hate the disease but always love the man.
- Grieve what you’ve lost and celebrate what you’ve got left.
- Let go of the illusion that you can handle this alone.
- When the burden is too heavy, give it to God.